Unborn
by Singing Violin
Summary: After the honeymoon and before the series finale, Clark makes a choice that isn't really his to make.
1. Unborn 1

Title: Unborn  
Series: Lois & Clark  
Author: Singing Violin  
Rating: K+  
Summary: After the honeymoon and before the series finale, Clark makes a choice that isn't really his to make.  
Disclaimer: They're not mine, but sure have they been used a lot! I'd like to get in on the game, though of course, not for profit, because then it'd be illegal!  
Feedback: Please, and yes I understand it's a touchy subject. Otherwise it wouldn't be interesting to write about.  
Archiving: Anywhere.

She was so peaceful, lying there. His eyes took her in, like the breath of life. His Lois. _Until death do us part_, he thought. It was time to find out whose death that referred to. His hand traveled unconsciously to the side of her face, where his thumb caressed her cheek. It was the same gesture that not so long ago had led her to realize that he, Clark Kent, was Superman. He loved this woman so much, and yet he was about to do something that could cause him to lose her. Though if he didn't, he'd lose her anyway. At least this way, she'd live, and he could cherish her from afar.

He took the leaden box and gently opened it. The green glow bathed his beloved in an eerie light. He cringed as the radiation hurt him, but he kept the box open until he couldn't stand it any longer. He hoped it would be enough.

Quickly he closed the case and sat down for a moment to recover. Lois stirred in her sleep. The urgency was palpable and he flew out to return the rock to Star Labs before she could catch him. He knew she was going to need him soon, one way or another, and he planned to be there until the truth came out and she rejected him forever.

When he returned, she was wide awake, and the bed was covered in blood. Tears streamed down her cheeks. "Clark," she sobbed, "what's happening?"

In an instant he was at her side, and she was in his arms. "Shh," he soothed, "it's going to be all right. I think..." he hesitated, "you had a miscarriage."

Through her sobs, anger rose within her, "it's not all right, Clark! It'll never be all right! We just lost our child! Where were you?"

"An earthquake in Japan," he lied. Holding her tightly, he squeezed his eyes shut, savoring what might be one of the last moments he would have to touch her. She sobbed uncontrollably against his chest.

Suddenly she pushed him away. "Clark...I don't feel so good." Her eyes rolled back into her head, and Clark was glad he hadn't changed out of his costume, because in this instance, he didn't know if he'd have had the resolution to take even half a second to change before flying her to the hospital.

_Please, Lois_, he thought. _Please live_. The image of Lois in the bed, covered in blood, was forever burned into his mind. He prayed that it wouldn't be the last memory he had of her.

**TWO WEEKS EARLIER**

As usual, Lois was madly typing out a story. Clark slyly eyed her, treasuring the view of his wife..._his wife_...at work. It wasn't much different from before they were married, but it felt like a world of difference. He smiled as he watched her.

Suddenly she stopped typing, and turned pale. Clark rushed over to her, putting a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"Lois, what's wrong? Are you all right?" he asked.

Her arm hugged her belly. She looked down, then up at her husband with wide eyes. "It hurts," she whispered.

"Let's get you to the hospital."

She shook her head. "Star Labs."

Clark panicked, but escorted her into the elevator. When the doors closed, and they were alone, he asked, "why?"

"Clark," she admitted. "I'm pregnant."

"You're what!" he bogged. "That's impossible, Dr. Klein said I couldn't...unless..."

"It's yours, Clark. I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid you'd worry. I also wanted to make sure...I didn't want to tell you too early, because I didn't want you to be disappointed if..." Her voice trailed off.

The elevator had arrived at the ground floor, and, with his arm around her waist, he hurried to the revolving door. As soon as they were outside, he commanded, "stay here, I'll be right back." Seconds later, he returned as Superman, took her in his arms, and flew as fast as he could to Star Labs.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	2. Unborn 2

Title: Unborn (Part 2)  
Series: Lois & Clark  
Author: Singing Violin  
Rating: K+  
Summary: After the honeymoon and before the series finale, Clark makes a choice that isn't really his to make.  
Disclaimer: They're not mine, but sure have they been used a lot! I'd like to get in on the game, though of course, not for profit, because then it'd be illegal!  
Feedback: Please, and yes I understand it's a touchy subject. Otherwise it wouldn't be interesting to write about.  
Archiving: Anywhere.

**...CONTINUED FROM PART 1**

Lois was lying on a bed, tears shimmering in her eyes. The news was grim. A half-Kryptonian baby inside her was interfering with her human systems. There was a chance, if she continued the pregnancy, that it could threaten her very life.

Clark paced at the foot of the bed, dumbfounded as to how to approach the problem.

Lois, anticipating Clark's response, spoke up. "I'm keeping the baby."

Clark stopped abruptly and turned to face his wife. "Lois..." he warned.

"Clark, come here," the brunette commanded.

Dutifully, he came to the side of the bed and sat on it, allowing her to take his hands in hers.

She looked into his eyes. "Clark, I've never wanted anything more than I want this baby now. I would give up my life for this baby, in a second."

Clark looked alarmed. "No...I wouldn't let you." He pulled his hands out from hers and reached towards her, holding her close. "I couldn't lose you."

Gently, she pulled away. "Clark," she said, "this is my choice. Not yours. Not Superman's. I won't terminate this pregnancy. I know I'm meant to have your child...our family will lead the world into utopia, remember? How can we do that if we don't have children? Nothing's going to happen. We're going to survive this."

Clark wanted desperately to believe her. He nodded. But he needed to think about it. He squeezed her hand and made his "I have to go be Superman now" face.

She sighed. "Go."

And go he did. He flew above the city for nearly half an hour, meandering through the clouds, thinking. The wind rushed around him, and he felt the tears pool in his eyes, trying desperately to escape into the stratosphere. However, he was, after all, Superman, and Superman didn't cry. No matter what.

Yes, Superman didn't cry. He didn't mope and didn't dally. He acted, and that is what Clark needed to do now.

Clark Kent had made his decision. He would support Lois, but he would monitor her. The X-ray vision would be his ally. If anything went wrong, Lois came first. She always had, and she always would.

**TEN DAYS LATER**

The pain was getting worse. Clark could tell. The fetus looked fine in X-ray vision, but its dense structure was causing abrasions all over Lois's uterus, and her other organs were getting bruised. Every time the baby moved, Lois was getting hurt.

Lois tried to minimize her pain. She told Clark it was fine. But at night, when she was asleep, he heard her moan. During the day, he periodically caught her doubling over slightly, her hand on her abdomen. He knew this couldn't persist. Lois was strong, but the stronger her fetus got, the more she was hurting.

Clark was resolute. He was Superman. He had to save lives, especially Lois's. And so, he made up his mind to do the most dishonest thing he'd ever done. Worse even than pretending he was two different people. But it would save Lois's life, and that's what his job as Superman called for. Yes, it was what he had to do.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	3. Unborn 3

Title: Unborn (Part 3)  
Series: Lois & Clark  
Author: Singing Violin  
Rating: K+  
Summary: After the honeymoon and before the series finale, Clark makes a choice that isn't really his to make.  
Disclaimer: They're not mine, but sure have they been used a lot! I'd like to get in on the game, though of course, not for profit, because then it'd be illegal!  
Feedback: Please, and yes I understand it's a touchy subject. Otherwise it wouldn't be interesting to write about.  
Archiving: Anywhere.

**PRESENT DAY**

With Lois unconscious in his arms, covered in blood, Clark had never been more frightened. Would she live? If she lived, would she find out? If she found out, would she ever forgive him? He shook his head, trying to clear himself of the thoughts racing through his mind. He needed to get Lois to the hospital.

He spotted the emergency entrance and landed, racing inside with his precious armful. Seeing the blood and Superman, the staff immediately took her from him and wheeled her into an examination room. Clark had often noticed that Superman's patients got special treatment, and had as often regretted the unfairness of it, making other patients wait longer while his got attention. It was true that those he rescued were often in life-threatening conditions, but even when they weren't, the staff didn't want to look bad in front of the celebrity version of him. Little did they know how their preferential treatment disappointed that very celebrity. For once, however, Clark was glad of the special treatment.

He didn't risk following her into the room, although he was pretty sure the staff would also allow him that indulgence. He didn't want to fuel any more rumors that could lead to the discovery of his secret identity. No, that wasn't the real reason he was avoiding the situation.

He didn't want to be around when Lois figured it out.

Realizing that he was Superman, standing in a hospital emergency room waiting room, he decided it was time to go. People would expect him, having done what he could for this patient, to go back to save someone else. Besides, if he waited any longer, people would start hounding him for autographs and advice, and he really wasn't in a mood to talk.

Racing out the door, he flew into the air and wondered where he could possibly go.

Minutes later, he found his internal autopilot had taken him directly to Smallville. Specifically, his parents' doorstep.

Sighing at his subconscious's victory, he spun out of his Superman outfit and entered. He sat at the table in the dining room and hung his head in his hands.

He didn't have long to mope, as his parents, having heard him enter, had awoken and come downstairs in their robes.

"Clark?" his mother inquired. "What's wrong?"

He looked up into his parents' concerned eyes and felt nothing but shame in his heart. He opened his mouth, but no words came out.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	4. Unborn 4

Title: Unborn  
Series: Lois & Clark  
Author: Singing Violin  
Rating: K+  
Summary: After the honeymoon and before the series finale, Clark makes a choice that isn't really his to make.  
Disclaimer: They're not mine, but sure have they been used a lot! I'd like to get in on the game, though of course, not for profit, because then it'd be illegal!  
Feedback: Please, and yes I understand it's a touchy subject. Otherwise it wouldn't be interesting to write about.  
Archiving: Anywhere.

**...CONTINUED FROM PART 3**

After what seemed like an eternity, Clark moved as if to rise. "I should go...I shouldn't have come..."

Putting a hand on his shoulder to prevent him from getting up, his mother shook her head. "Honey, you don't just show up here in the middle of the night and then leave without telling us what's wrong."

His father chimed in, "That's right, son. We're here to help."

Clark's head dropped again and he sighed deeply. Then he looked up, "Mom...Dad...I think I've done something terrible."

Martha looked worried. She turned to her husband, "Jonathan, why don't you go put on some coffee?"

Clark's father nodded, and kissed his wife's forehead before heading into the other room.

Meanwhile, Martha sat on her son's left and took his hands in her own, caressing them soothingly for a few moments while her son fought back tears. "Whatever it is, Clark...you can tell us. We love you."

He still couldn't find the words, as he looked pleadingly at his mother.

"Take your time, son," Jonathan said as he reentered the room, patting Clark's shoulder before seating himself on the right.

Finally, all he could say was, "It's Lois. She's in the hospital."

Martha gave her husband the "uh-oh" glance. "Clark, it's not your fault...we know you always do what you can. Even Superman can't be everywhere."

"No, Mom," Clark said. "It's really, really my fault. I couldn't let her die...but I didn't want to hurt her...oh god, what have I done?"

"Slow down, son," his father interjected. "Maybe you'd better start at the beginning."

"O-okay," Clark stammered. "Lois...she's pregnant. Er, she was pregnant."

"I thought you said Dr. Klein told you that you couldn't have children, Clark," argued his father.

"I know, Dad...and I thought so too. And she didn't even tell me for a while. I found out because she almost fainted at work. Afterwards, I took her to Star Labs and they said it was definitely my child, and definitely incompatible with her systems. But she wanted to keep the baby, and she kept rationalizing it..." His voice trailed off in sadness.

"Go on, honey," urged his mother, stroking his hand with her thumb.

"I knew...I just knew, if I let her have that baby, she'd die. I don't know when...in childbirth, maybe. But I just knew. I've never been more certain of anything in my life. I couldn't lose her. And I knew I couldn't convince her."

He paused for a moment, closing his eyes and biting his lip. "I used kryptonite..."

There were tears in his mother's eyes now as she whispered, "Clark, if you felt you had to do it, it was probably the right thing."

Jonathan's voice was full of doubt, "How does Lois feel about it, Clark?"

Martha answered her husband, "She doesn't know, does she?"

"No," Clark admitted. "She doesn't know...yet. But how am I going to tell her that I killed her baby in order to save her life? I don't think she'll ever look at me again."

Martha thought for a second, "Clark, you said she was in the hospital. Are you sure you killed...it?"

"I...I think so. There was so much blood, Mom...I was so scared."

"Oh, Clark," his mother soothed, standing up and wrapping her arms about his shoulders. "You two will get through this. I've never known any two people who loved each other more."

"But son," his father spoke. "You have to tell her. The longer you wait, the harder it'll get."

Pulling away, his mother agreed, "Go, Clark. Go be with your wife. She'll understand. She has to."

Clark stood up and nodded. "Thanks Mom, Dad."

"Keep us posted, son," said his father, opening the door. "Let us know if there's any way we can help."

"I will, Dad," said Clark, and he flew away.

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


	5. Unborn 5

Title: Unborn (Part 5)  
Series: Lois & Clark  
Author: Singing Violin  
Rating: K+  
Summary: After the honeymoon and before the series finale, Clark makes a choice that isn't really his to make.  
Disclaimer: They're not mine, but sure have they been used a lot! I'd like to get in on the game, though of course, not for profit, because then it'd be illegal!  
Feedback: Please, and yes I understand it's a touchy subject. Otherwise it wouldn't be interesting to write about.  
Archiving: Anywhere.

**...CONTINUED FROM PART 4**

Superman landed in the parking lot of the emergency room and quickly spun into Clark clothes. Slipping his glasses onto his nose, he took a deep breath in preparation to face the most frightening thing he'd ever had to encounter…his injured wife. Injured by his own hand.

He entered through the sliding doors and approached the reception counter. "Hi, I'm Clark Kent. My wife…Superman said he brought her in here. Lois Lane."

The receptionist nodded. "Mr. Kent, I will need you to sign some forms okay?" she prompted, shoving a pen and paperwork towards him across the desk.

"Uh, okay…" he stammered, annoyed at the delay. His minutes with Lois might be numbered, and they were having him waste them dealing with red tape. He sighed, and took the paperwork to a dark corner of the waiting room, where he filled it out at super-speed, hoping nobody was looking.

When he returned to the counter, the receptionist looked questioningly at him. He knew it was risky to arouse suspicion, but he was impatient, and luckily she was busy enough to forget his speedy paperwork moments after he handed it in. "Right this way," she offered, leading him down the hallway and to a set of double doors, which she opened with her pass. "She's in bed number twelve, up ahead and to the right."

"Thank you," Clark nodded, and hurried through the doors.

Clark parted the curtains cautiously, trying to enter quietly, but his wife was not asleep. Tear tracks marked her face as she stared at the wall. She didn't acknowledge his presence. It was worse than he thought.

He sat down on the side of the bed and put a hand on her shoulder. "Lois?" he queried, softly. She didn't answer. "Honey?" Still no response, except for a lone tear which escaped from her eye and rolled down her nose. His heart broke to see her like this.

"Lois, please talk to me," he begged. "I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere. I'll stay as long as you need."

Finally, she rolled over to face him. Still not speaking, she studied him with her eyes. Another tear rolled down her nose, and he reached towards her to brush it away. His hand lingered on the side of her face, his thumb caressing her cheek. "Lois," he pleaded, "tell me what I can do."

She bit her lip, and then, in the smallest voice he'd ever heard come out of her mouth - even with his superhearing he had to strain to make it out - she whispered, "hold me."

Instantly, he reached out and pulled her to him, and stroked her back as her silent tears soaked his suit jacket. He felt as if a chunk of kryptonite was lodged in his stomach. She was in so much pain, and it was his fault, and he couldn't take it away.

He held her for what seemed like an eternity, until finally he realized she was asleep. Gently, he eased her back onto the bed and let her go, but at the instant when he was no longer touching her, she moaned.

Sighing, he removed his shoes and climbed into the bed with her. She nestled into his arms, finally at some semblance of peace. He suspected she hadn't slept until he'd gotten back, and he wished he could fall asleep too…ordinarily this would be the position he'd most like to be in. Unfortunately, his mind was racing and his unease would not be relieved. He stared at the ceiling and contemplated how he was going to break it to his wife that the worst thing that had ever happened to her was his fault.

**TO BE CONTINUED…**


	6. Unborn 6

Title: Unborn (Part 6)  
Series: Lois & Clark  
Author: Singing Violin  
Rating: K+  
Summary: After the honeymoon and before the series finale, Clark makes a choice that isn't really his to make.  
Disclaimer: They're not mine, but sure have they been used a lot! I'd like to get in on the game, though of course, not for profit, because then it'd be illegal!  
Feedback: Please, and yes I understand it's a touchy subject. Otherwise it wouldn't be interesting to write about.  
Archiving: Anywhere.

**...CONTINUED FROM PART 5  
**

She awoke slowly. First, she took a deep breath and snuggled against her husband. Then, reluctant to leave his warm embrace but aware of the bodily needs that called her to exit the bed, she began to stretch her limbs, like a cat awakening from a nap.

Then, she opened her eyes, and reality washed over her like the cold, salty seawater after diving off a cliff.

Quickly, she closed her eyes again, hoping that it was all a dream, but when her lids parted a second time, her surroundings - a curtained-off area of an emergency room - had not disappeared.

To make matters worse, her husband was staring at her. With concern. With pity. With...guilt?

She searched his eyes for the truth, which had always been transparent to her, but she could not read him today. Her eyes threatened to overflow and she turned away.

He spoke her name, softly, gently. She ignored him. Briefly, she wondered whether he was ignoring cries of help to stay here with her. The thought quickly escaped. Really, there was only one thing on her mind.

When the doctor entered, she finally spoke aloud.

"I want to see my baby."

The doctor nodded, and parted through the curtains.

Clark protested. Why was he protesting? She barely heard his words...he was making excuses. There was something he didn't want her to know. He was saying it would be too difficult...traumatic. She could handle it. He should know she could handle it. She was Lois Lane. She could handle anything, especially with her husband...no, this was something she needed to do alone.

"Clark, please...leave me alone with my child."

The hurt in his eyes was palpable, as he was poised to leave. He looked as if she'd asked him never to come back.

But before he could exit, the doctor returned, making the exchange moot.

"It's...gone, Miss Lane."

She sighed. "I know...I want to see the body."

"No, Miss Lane, you don't understand...the body has disappeared."

**TO BE CONTINUED...**


End file.
